Friday, May 20, 2011

Eu-Brain versus Low-Brain

Typical conversation between my euglycemic, rational, brain and the hypoglycemic version:
Eu-Brain : Hey, Dex just beeped.  Check it out.
Low-Brain Nah.  You have got to pee.  NOW!
Eu-Brain: Okay, but remember, that’s one of your chief low BG symptoms.
Low-Brain: Don’t worry about it.  Hey, you were supposed to start the laundry, remember?  Why don’t you just sort the stuff out now?
Eu-Brain: I don’t think this is such a good idea...
LB: Relax.  It will only take a few minutes.
EB: Yeah, but you were 64 with 2 units on board half an hour ago, and we treated with orange juice, which never sticks around....
LB: Oh, come on.  All that insulin on board will be gone by now.   You’re fine.
EB: Laundry sorting is done.  Time to test.
LB: Wait, we’ve got online bills to pay.  Check those out.
EB: No!  Test.  NOW.  I’m waiting.
LB: Look!  Shiny!
EB: 58.  Told you.  We need to treat that.
LB: That’s not so bad.  Let’s grab the mail first and then get a snack.
EB: Grab a juice box off the counter and drink it.
LB: How about a nice glass of milk instead?
EB: I really think the juice will be faster...
LB: Yeah, but it burns off and you’re low again.   Plus, you just had your first cavity in ten years.  Milk would be better than juice.
EB: I suppose so.
LB: Mmm.  Tasty.  Know what would go really good with that?
EB: No, we are *not* going to overtreat!
LB: A cookie.  Think how yummy it would be.  Double Chocolate Newman-O.  Your favorite.
EB: No, you don’t need that.  Get away from the cupboard!
LB: You need six.
EB: Stop!  You’ll regret this later!  What the hell are you doing???
LB: Don’t listen to him.  He was wrong about that orange juice, wasn’t he?
EB: That wasn’t me.  And no more cookies!  At least drink your milk, the cookies are too slow.
LB: Just shut up, why don’t you?
EB: We’re done eating.  What was that, eight?  Did you count?  We’ll have to fix it later, for now just sit down and rest until Low-Brain nods off.
LB: Heck, we can fix it now.  I bet eight units -
EB: Don’t you dare!  Go sit down.  Surf the web or something.
LB: We still have those online bills.
EB: We are not, repeat, not going near the bills now.  Find something harmless to do or we’ll regret it later.
LB: Yawn!  I suppose we can write a blog post...
EB: Good idea.  If you ramble too much, at least Sprinkles will understand...


Anonymous said...

This is hilarious!

Alyssa said...

This is SO true! During a really bad low one time, I had a similar conversation with myself (I think some of it was out-loud on the crowded city streets). I also did other things rather than walk 3/4 of a mile back to school so I could get a glass of orange juice (and I passed a bunch of candy stands and a Walgreens on the way). People just don't understand why we become irrational when we're low, but this explains it really well! Good job!